about this blog….

I’m heeerrrrreee guys, I’m here

Assalamualaikum to one and all.

Right so, errm, yes you alllll have a very good reason to hate me. I’ve become such a terrible “author” , and I’m not even here to give you guys excuses, because let’s face it, no one is gonna believe me right?

No this blog hasn’t ended
No this blog hasn’t stopped. (That is just plain evil if I just stop it)

*ended and stopped is two different things trust me*

Yes it will continue inshaAllah, inshaAllah, inshaAllah as soon as i find the time to write!

To be honest, I have the next part, promise I do, but its like three quarterly done. And I’m not liking what I’m writing, so I need to get into the groove of it. InshaAllah soon though I will post it.

Annnyway… I promise, inshaAllah I will be posting. It won’t be regular (as usual, lol say it), but I will definitely post, InshaAllah. As soon as I find TIME. Not find, HAVE time. I’m swamped with work currently, and if I have time to read my 55 million unread emails, then it will be a miracle.

Until next post inshaAllah


Epilogue part one.

Assalamualaikum. Hope everyone is in good health, high Imaan, and having good moments.

Yeaahhhh guys!!!!! We are here!!! Can you believe?

So.. A little of a recap… Everyone got married in the last few episodes. Literally… Shaakz to Yusuf, Sameera to Zaid, Faeeza to Zaakir, Asmaa to Ziyaad and Maariah to Abu Bakr.

As the title suggests… It’s the epilogue about this story…. Last season guys. *tear* *tear*
Buuut its gonna be a long season inshaAllah


Everything went wrong. Literally everything.

From my chicken on the stove to the cakes in the oven. I had no idea what was the cause of it, it could be the endless messages Yusuf and I sent each other, or the million phone calls I had to answer. Anyway. All of which caused me having a daymare. I was on the verge of tears. No really. Last night, my cakes came out as rusks, today my chicken burned. Oh Ya Allah!!

Marriage!!! Everyone says it is awesome. It really is. I won’t lie! But let it come to this point, and tears is all you’d wanna shed. I felt like a total failure. And ladies, it is at this times when you think of your mums words the most. Innit?

My phone rang, and it was Saby. She was in tears. Sometimes I wonder… Will she ever truly be over the fact that she can’t get kids. And sometimes, I Feel Ahmed so sorry. He tries his BEST to make her feel better. But the guilt consumes her.

Saby: I told him to get a second wife.

And I stood like a statue!! DID SHE JUST SAY??????

Saby: I can’t see him suffer Shaakz!
Me: for Allah’s sake!! He isn’t suffering. What part of “I don’t mind at all saby” did you not understand?
Saby: you have no idea what’s the true sense of marriage is?
Me: oh don’t start saby! I haven’t been the ideal wife ever since I became one. My cooking sucks, I doubt I’m a good daughter in law, so don’t even. You!!!! Just look at things too much. Saby: why are you crying?

And I felt fresh tears roll down my cheeks.
Me: saby… I’m a terrible wife that’s why…. I… I can’t even

Before I could continue, I felt the phone move away from my ear, and out my hand.

Him: Saby, she’ll call you back later inshaAllah.

Him: wa alaikumusalaam.

He looked at me. Right into my eyes, straight to my heart.

Him: what’s wrong sweets? (He asked gently)
Me: (crying) everything…. Yusuf, everything.
Yusuf: breath! I love you Shaakz. All of you. I promise. Burned chicken or not. I’ll always love you.
Me: I’m not an ideal wife. I.. I can’t even do things properly for you.
Yusuf: sweets. Babes… You’re my wife. Not my slave.

He gave me a kiss on my forehead, wiped my tears away. He cupped my face
Yusuf: (in a whisper) you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

And he took me in a hug.

Seconds later, the door bell rang. It was delivery of Pizza. I looked at him confused.
Yusuf: Saby text me to buy. *wink* come on. Let’s indulge.

He got up to get a glass and cooldrink. His Parker pen was next to the pizza box. I decided to write a message, it was clichΓ©, but I truly meant it.

****you have a pizza my heart****

He sat down, next to me and saw it. His smile grew, to a point I thought I’d have to help him close that smile. It was these times, no matter what a failure I am, that I realize I’m so in love. And every time I think of how much I love him, I ask…

Me: Yusuf, how much do you love me?

And every single time, every single time he gives me the sweetest reply.

Yusuf: since the day I saw saw you, it just grows.

And then there’s a comfortable silence. Staring at each other.. Drowning in each others comfort, solace, love.

We ate supper and then retired to bed.

Days like today have frequented these days. Me breaking down due to my lack of wifey skills. Yusuf coming to my rescue. Its been 5 months that we married, and I sometimes wonder why didn’t we earlier. He does small (and big ones) actions that catches not just my attention, but my heart. And my heart is on the edge of the cliff, and I’m about to fall, my heart is about to burst. They talk about #relationshipGoals, #WifeyGoals, #HusbandGoals, #bae, but they don’t know what it is like. They don’t know that it is more than a cute picture that was taken once. They don’t know, that it is more than a sunset stroll down the beach, or “putting a lock on the bridge in Paris”, or sky diving in Dubai and looking at the bottom from the top- with your loved one next to you, they don’t know that all of those… aren’t actually goals. Goals are – slipping a cute note into his lunch, phoning her from work just to say hello, helping out in the kitchen, smearing mud on each others faces while gardening- that’s goals. Not a picture that “looks” cute. Cuteness is after. And that my friends… Is when you see true goals.

It’s like the racing between Hazrat Muhammed (SAW) and Hazrat Ayesha (RA), or when Hazrat Khadeeja (RA) was the one right by Muhammed (SAW)’s side at the start of his prophethood. Or when Hazrat Alli(RA) went out for a job when there was nothing at home for his kids and Hazrat Faatima (RA) or like Hazrat Uthmaan (RA) being such a wonderful man that he earned the title “Thun Nurain” or like Hazrat Umar (RA) , the man even the shaytaan used to run in the opposite direction, sat silently when his wife shouted because he said “one must be fire, the other ice”. These are goals. These are the ones worth striving for.

This was just 5 months of my marriage. And I cannot wait to explore a lifetime with Yusuf.

The beginning of the rest of our lives – walima.

Naturally the walima is the very next day… So let’s pretend we read the wedding yesterday only :p



No words, no expression , no fancy, French romantic quote can ever do justice to the feeling you have when you wake up on your walima day. The feeling of pure ecstasy, bliss and happiness that surrounds you and him, your heart and his, is beyond explanation. The chirpy birds, the morning scent, the blowing UK wind, the traffic lights, the street lights, the hotel lights, the walkways, the cabs, just look different. Awesomely different. It is as if you’ve completely closed one chapter of your life and began a new one. It is like a revolution of sorts.

A good revolution. A revolution that completes half your Imaan (faith). A revolution that you spend with your other half. Because it is a revolution you experience in pairs. Perfect for each other, created for each other, destined millions of years ago by Allah- our creator.

Yusuf was already awake when my eyes opened. I looked around the room and saw the curtains were open too. He realised my confused look.
Yusuf: I know we spoke for hours sweets, I didn’t know you were THAT tired that even opened curtains wouldn’t wake you up. (Smiling in amusement)
Me: I… (Yawn) am very tired. You have absolutely no idea what it is to walk in heels.
Yusuf: (laughing). Heels?? Yeah right. You spoke all night.
Me: I’m too tired to have our first argument (closing my eyes)
Yusuf: Alright.. That’s enough sleep for one night. Come on.. We’ve got breakfast to eat.
Me: (pulling the covers over my head) just one more sleep.

The next minute I felt the entire blanket off me.
Yusuf: Na uh… As much as I love you, I can’t let you sleep more. Come on…. Please. (Asking too cutely for words)
Me: Okay okay. Fine, I’m getting up. Although you can quit holding the blanket now.
Yusuf: Nice try pumpkin. Come on.
Me: (shock) Pumpkin!!!! Am I fat??!
Yusuf: (laughing) Did I say you were? (laughing)
Me: You said pumpkin. What does that mean.?
Besides, it is so unromantic!

Yusuf carried on laughing, dropped the blanket, came to my side, gave me a kiss on my forehead and then said
Yusuf: Pumpkin because I love you. Not because you’re fat! (Stretching out a hand for me to take) Now come on.

I took his hand and finally got up. I went to the bathroom and before I could close the door he said
Yusuf: Besides (mocking me) no other guy would have ever called you pumpkin, so in a way, I’m romantic *wink*

I laughed and closed the door behind me; and had a good shower. When I went back to the room, there was a note next to my Polo vanity bag.

*call me when you done

Why wasn’t he here, Allah alone knows. I got done, I won’t say quickly, because we were half an hour late for the walima reception, but quickly enough knowing how late I woke up. Yips we had to skip breakfast, we, however managed to get a cup of coffee to keep us going.

I wore a gold indian outfit, beaded from the top – lightly and then almost full at the bottom, making a gorgeous border with the darker shade of gold material. Paired with a yellow gold set, a chain that adorned my neck and a bracelet that finished the look on my mendhi – hand. Yusuf….. Yusuf wore a white kurta, with a taupe colour jacket and matching colour shoes.

I rang him and he came to the room almost immediately……
Me: Waait.. Don’t say you were on the other side of the door!!
Yusuf: Guilty.
Me: You could have just stayed!
Yusuf: Nopes. I wanted to see how you looked after you’re dressed. Pretty by the way.
Me: That’s all I get (imitating him)

Unfortunately for me, he didn’t compliment me further

Yusuf: That’s all you get sweets (teasing me)
Me: You don’t look fine at all!! I don’t know what I fancied.
Yusuf: Oohh so you diiid fancy me. *wink*
Me: I didn’t say that.
Yusuf: You just did (chuckle). Since when, love?
Me: Oh so now I’m “love”? *raised eyebrow*
Yusuf: You were always love.
Me: Goood try Mister Smarty Pants. But you ain’t getting an answer from me. *wink*

Before he could reply, his and my phone rang. It was Sameera at my end and Zaid at his. But they were together, so we both, heard them both. Get me?

Zaid & Sameera: Half an hour late!!
Me: What? Can’t be!
Zaid: Can’t be!! Can’t be!!! Have you seen the time dear??

And when I did! My eyes nearly popped out.

Yusuf: Oh my word babes!! Let’s go!!!

Was I embarrassed or embarrassed???!!

The entire hall was seated. Starters were on the table. And here you see me! The bride. Making an entrance. Literally. I had a bad habit of being late, but I was never over time. I just used to make the nick of the time. And here…. Half an hour late. Ladies turned to look at me, with scrutiny. Gosh! Cousins and friends laughed at me. I on the other hand, had to keep a straight, yet smiley face and walk up to them. My cousins in law that is.

After a mouth-watering lunch, which was steak with mushroom sauce; saucy vegetables and masala chicken, my friends decided to grace me with their presence.

Faeeza: Well well, if it isn’t a late bride, what do we have?
Covering my face.
Me: I promise, you have no idea what it is like, to end off late, drive to his family’s house. Sit and have loooong chit chat, thinking we have allll night. ONLY to know, they were staying at a hotel. So we had to go to the hotel.
Asmaa: (laughing) Faeeza didn’t say anything besides saying you were late. (Chuckle) but ooohhkay. We get why you were late.

How many of us, brides, know who we meet? I mean there’s so many aunts, chachis, fufis, khalas cousins (like how they say, mare kakibhen, fooi-bhen) mwan. It confuses my brain. All I know. I’m meeting chachi with a pink dress, khala with a blue- a little on the plumpy side might I add. Then I’m meeting an old neighbour – the fancy ladies. Some cousins with a cute baby, and then some cousins who aren’t married. Do you know what’s even worse. Seeing that one school “buddy” and knowing she is his cousin!! Mwan did she not tell them about my schooling life? I was all day in the headmaster’s office!!

But all in all… I noticed my family is just as them. We kinda complemented one another. It was like my family- the glove, and his- the hand, that came together finally.

When you not so worried of people looking at you, do you fully realize the things around you. I saw the hall was simple, very simple. (I liked it). I saw that there were bainmaries on each table, so no fancy platters. On the mens’ side I heard there was a dastarkhan, and when I turned my head to the right, surprisingly, actually not surprisingly, in awe, I saw some young girls, sitting on the floor as well. With evening dresses and all. I got up, and went to join them. I bet they were just freshly out of school, so they kept quiet. Lol!

Me: Oh come on, I don’t bite. What’s your peoples names? (Way to go Shakirah #psht)
And that’s how, minutes later, we were engrossed in conversation. Until…..

Cousin from school: Heyyy, weren’t you… Like always at headmasters office.
Me: (covering my face) You weren’t suppposed to sayy that (laughing)
Sameera: You were??? How did I not know this?
Ayesha: Come on, she was the one that pressed the fire alarm!!
Sameera: No way!!
Me: Ayesha!
Ayesha: Yes way Sameera, and that shaving cream situation, was her, and the snow balls, and the… (She tried to carry on)
Me: (cutting her off) Okay okay!! Enough.

By then my cousins in law were laughing away, some couldn’t believe, it was because of me – school stopped for an hour and a half!!

One cousin: (laughing) You seem so innocent. Are you sure you did it?
Me : I… (Before I could reply)
Sameera: Maseeha, you have nooo idea.
Ayesha: Poor Yusuf!
Me: Ay.. What poor Yusuf???
Saudah: You’ll drive him up the wall.
Me: Like you drive Taahir?
Khadeeja: True shaakz she does.
Me: In your face Saudah. (Pulling tongue at her)
Khadeeja: In a car duh!!

And I was busted! Just like that, on my walima, I had people troubling me.

Me: You know what, I’m going to sit with my mummy.

They all burst out in a fit of laughter.

Saudah: What are you? 5?
Me: No crazy, 25!

I didn’t spend a second any more. Fooi had my clutch because… Well Moe Isa took it away from me.
Fooi: Shakirah, really!! If you do not answer your phone, I’ll be throwing your clutch to someone else. ( A little irritated)
Me: Sorry Fooi. Here let me take it away.

I took my phone, only to see 195 whatsapp messages. 50 of which were from Yusuf. 12 miss calls – all were Yusuf’s. Can he?

So as I was about to put it away, it rang again.
Yusuf: Wa alaikumusalaam…. Can we leave already?

And I laughed. I knew Yusuf was nuts. Not this nuts though.

Me: (laughing) Now? As in now?
Yusuf: Yeah now.
Me: Yusuf… you do know what people will say.
Yusuf: Well it’s about time we break the norm “rules”. Come on. I’m waiting outside.
Me: You are so crazy!!! In another 15 minutes please? (I asked sweetly)
Yusuf: Nopes… Now.. Quietly though.
Me: Eerrr.. How so if…
Yusuf: (cutting me off). It’s freezing out here you know. Come on!

That is how I found myself… Holding onto my seats TIGHT. I’ve sat in fast cars before. Yips, like racing FAST. Allah alone knows what Yusuf thinks is fast. Because I was so afraid. I read my kalimahs and all.

Me: (reading Durood Shareef)
Yusuf: (laughing). Will you chill
Me: CHILL. CHILL. When you driving?? Nopes. From now I will be driving us around. You’re just soo crazy.
Yusuf: No ways…. If we need to go to a place an hour away.. We’ll have to leave the day before. So… I’ll drive.
Me: You wish!! (still holding the seat). YUSUF! Watch!!

Yusuf Slammed the brakes.

Yusuf: You gave me a heart attack!!
Me: babes!!! The truck was infront of you!!
Yusuf: Love it’s so far from us! Please relax.
Me: Fine! (closing my eyes).

And then I felt him tug my hand… I turned to look at him. He was so engrossed on the road that it would seem as if he isn’t tugging my hand consciously. I placed my hand in his palms… And I sighed. No matter how crazy his driving is, I felt a little at ease.
Yusuf:(still looking straight ahead, whispering) That’s all you had to do sweets…. To just trust me.

I smiled. This was why… Love only appears before marriage in the dictionary. Love, in life, the one where your heart goes “hmmm”, only happens after Nikaah.

Me:(whispered) I trust you Yusuf.
Yusuf: (turned to look at me) Yeah?(He questioned)
Me: Yeah.
Yusuf: Then say I always loved you.
Me: I alway…

I realised what he was doing.

Me: Ayyy!!! I didn’t always. #psht.
Yusuf: Oh yeah, then why were you the only one that saw my faint dimples?
Me: (laughing) That was years ago.
Yusuf: Yeah… 4 years, 3 months and 5 days.

I looked at him. No scratch that, I gaped! Shocked!!

Me: What did you say?
Yusuf: Don’t feel yourself (laughing)… I just said any random numbers.
Me: I hate you (trying to take my hands away)
Yusuf: You’re a fantastic pharmacist, but a terrible liar.
Me: And youu… Are terrible at reading people!!
Yusuf: No… I’m good actually. For instance, when I call you sweets, you blush, aaaand you get butterflies and what?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me.
Yusuf: You look down!


Me: Wa… Waaaittt. How did you?
Yusuf: because… I read you.


Do you know what this means????
It meaaaannnss Epilogue up next! BUT

There’s always a “BUT”
I have no idea how long my epilogue will be, because I can stretch it upto 10 parts maybe 15. There’s so much I want my characters to go through still… So epilogue won’t be two or 3 posts… It will be like a full season again inshaAllah.


Thanks to Sameeratunz for helping me with the colour choosing and editing. And thanks to Loony toones tooo!!!!


The beginning of the rest of our lives (part two)

I left the room and walked to the room next door. Momo Isa and Naseeha came to me, out of breath because they ran.
Me: What’s up buddies?
Naseeha: Your fwends is there (pointing to the room).
Me: JazakAllah (kissing her cheeks).

Greeting my friends as a married woman gave me the butterflies. Even though they were already married, and knew what married life was like, I couldn’t contain my tears. They just flowed freely. I greeted Faheema, then I greeted Nabeelah. Then it was Faeeza, and I automatically transferred my mind to her wedding.



On the 19 of March, Faeeza wedded Zaakir. She wanted an amazing wedding. And she did have one. Not too much, although it was elaborate. Fancy, yet simple in its own way. Black with red abstract patterned table cloths; similar coloured napkins; and just a single red rose in a vase. Every second table had a black rose. It looked breath-taking. It spoke volumes. It was just a “Faeeza kinda” wedding. She wore a beautiful gown, and her face shone with happiness. Not only her face, but Zaakir’s too.

Faeeza: I can’t believe it’s actually happening Shaakz. I really thought this would never happen. This me and Zaakir thing.

And that’s when I realized she never was fully over the man. But Zaakir took an amazing turn. As youngish-old as he was, he started hifdh. Brilliant mind Allah blessed him with, before his wedding he finished 10 paras. In 6 months, that is. His beard was fuller than before, and he even put his name down, as a fill in Imaam in the Masjid. You know when the Imaam of the masjid can’t make it, due to unforeseen circumstances.

Faeeza: Shaakz, Shaakz, (nudging me, and taking my hands in hers)
Me: Yeah….?
Faeeza: It’s time for me to go.
She looked so nervous. I laughed.
Me: You practically know the guy! What’s with the “shy bride” now?
Faeeza: We’re married now. It’s different.
Me: (chuckle) Okies Faeeza.. Let’s get you ready dear.
Asmaa: Faeeza face it. You…. Just can’t wait to go with him. Just say it. We understand. (She teased)
Faeeza: Meaners!!

*end of flashbacks*
Faeeza: Ima miss you. No two weeks meetings. Now its like twice a year. Can’t Yusuf bring you here, instead of Paris.
Me: (laughing through my tears) Tomorrow is still the walima dear.
Asmaa: Come on.(Not giving Faeeza a chance) My turn.

And again I was transported to her wedding.


Asmaa didn’t want a wedding do. It was chaotic yet awesome. She didn’t invite the dunya. It was my family, Ziyaad’s family didn’t bother, so the rest of the guests were hers.
It felt soo goooood to come from the boy’s side although it was my best friend’s wedding.
Ziyaad: Shaakz… What do you think?
(Showing me how he looks).
Zaid: Ziyaad!!!! You’re kidding me?
Ziyaad: What, is something wrong? (Looking at himself) Am I that bad?
And Zaid and I broke into a fit of laughter.
Me: (laughing) Nooo he meant are you kidding him in asking if you’re looking good.
Ziyaad: This aint funny.

And the next thing we knew, he was crying.

Just at that moment, Ammi entered. And when she saw Ziyaad crying I knew we had it bad.
Ammi: ZAID and SHAKIRAH!!!!! Can you trouble him on his wedding day?! What is wrong with you. I brought you people up differently. Huh? Where’s your brain?

And she went to hug Ziyaad.

Zaid and I were speechless. We felt terrible.

Ziyaad was a mess and I have no idea how long he cried for, but it felt like decades. Eventually he stopped and I got him a glass of water.

He cried…… He cried for his mum…. And at that moment the world stopped. This was his big day, the day he tied the knot, the day his soul united with Asmaa’s. But……… B… But his mum, beloved mum wasn’t here to witness it. Neither was his extended family. But that was because they were ignorant souls. He had it bad, and I think the little teasing we gave him, tugged the wrong side of his heart.

Everthing went off well for him. And her. Asmaa looked dashing in her light pink dress she sewed and Ziyaad looked “super handsome” – my Ammi’s words. Ziyaad took her home though, from her Dad’s. Because face it, they both couldn’t wait to start playing husband and wife. The walima…. Was as simple as just paper plates, white table clothes, no decor at all, no entrance table, white napkins (I forced the issue to get the flowered ones) and no main table for Asmaa. Simple to the core!! But it was the most beautiful walima I ever attended. While we celebrated here, somewhere in Africa, an orphange celebrated too. And that.. That just filled everything with Allah’s blessings.

*end of flashback*

I went to the living room to spend some time with my family before my Abba dropped me at my in-laws. Mingled with some, got teased by Aunties. Cried a little when my cousins thought about the far distance between Paris and England. But all the better for them to come for holidays, innit ;).

You know when everything is separate, and you get the extra cute couple that will meet “halfway” in the passage, I don’t know what they do, check on each other, or decide when to leave, or I don’t know, maybe say “love yous” whatever the heck it might be, it is still so cute. So anyway .. There I saw Zoheb and Aara. And my smile widened.

Me: Zoooooheb !! Aara babes.

Aara seemed startled and sort of caught off-guard and Zoheb flashed me his 1000 watt dimpled smile

Zoheb: Thought I’d never come huh?
Me: Something like that. *wink* …. What are you two doing, in the middle of the passage? (I asked teasingly)
Aara: (a blush creeping up on her face) We errrrrrr…. (Looking at zoheb) we errrrrrr
Me: I get it, I get it. (Laughing). What did you say, love you too babes or whatever you call him?
Aara: (with her hands covering her face) You will see soon Shakoo… How’s the nerves?
Me: Well… Given the fact that I met him an hour ago, I’m calm, but I’m worried that I’m this (pointing to myself) calm.
Zoheb: (laughing) I think you’re just on a high…calm has nothing to do with it
Zoheb: if it makes you feel any better… Lol. His face is just as flushed as yours
Me: (covering my face with my hands and then looking up ) What to do, I have that effect on people πŸ˜‰
Aara: That you dooo πŸ˜‰
Me: You guys were leaving?
Aara: No ways they haven’t served dessert yet 😝
Me: Then come along!! (Laughing) Sorry but we don’t have SA’s fav’s. We have the UK norms.
Zoheb: Dessert is dessert isn’t Apple pie? (grinning at Aara)

We took the nearest empty room. The house was so full, so anywhere alone for a breather was enough.
I sat neatly (if I could say that) and not long after Zoheb and Aara sat next to each other, Zaid, Sahal, Suhail, Saby and Ahmed joined as well. Zaid had that look, the “I’m missing Sameera” look. Suhail and Ahmed teased him and he just shook his head. He knew they wouldn’t understand. While they spoke among each other, I zoned out and observed.

The place was my little rainbow. There was my siblings, and cousins, (Aaminah and Ayesha, Saudah , Khadeeja and Talha came too later as I observed). Sahal and Suhail now had a “Tajweed” accent, Zaid had a scottish tinge to his words, Aara’s South African accent, Zoheb’s mixture of New Zealand and SA accent – he had a little of the Uk lingo too, Saby’s and Ahmed’s normal Uk accent. I looked and sighed.

All dressed immaculately, smiles with perfectly painted lips, well suited guys, maulana worthy look in crisp white kurtas and beautiful mendhi patterned hands, tucked away in their loves’ hands. The single guys were grossed out (dramatic for nothing) and teased the married ones. The single girls “awwwed” at the sweet gesture, while you had me, I smiled and just loved the atmosphere. I mean, it’s not always you get all your cousins under one roof innit. I saw Zoheb give a peck to Aara, I saw Zaid look at his phone for a message from Sameera, Ahmed and Saby shared an eye moment, Saudah and Talha high fived each other, I thought about Yusuf and I. There was soft whispers between Saby, Sahal and Suhail, I didn’t understand and get, because my phone caught my attention….

I have this habit, where I don’t delete chats. So them chats from years ago will pop up.

When I looked up, I understood what was the whispers for, and I saw Sameera cover Zaid’s eyes, giving him a surprise, she knew he missed her, and she missed him too. She came and joined my little rainbow……..

my phone beeped. A text.

*Unknown: are you coming….. orrr should I come pick you up. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ *

I scrolled up at the long ago messages, and I didn’t believe, unknown was the one we pranked Saby’s wedding time.
Unknown is who I love. Unknown was someone I knew all my life. Unknown was and is my other half. Unknown…….

Unknown was Yusuf.

P. S
JazakaAllah to Life love destiny, Shaaz for the little piece we wrote together, then also JazakaAllah to Sameeratunz for the help in editing, and then Also jazakaAllah to my bestieeee! Ayesha for the pictures.





The beginning of the rest of our lives (part one)…..

I really don’t know how to explain my apologies. But I’m seriously really soo sorry for the extra delay which I can’t even deal with myself. If it wasn’t weddings then it was assignments, if it wasn’t those then it was ramadhaan preps. And then volunteer work, and then… I was just too busy.

I read, and re-read this piece and I hoooooope you guys love it.

And well.. There’s two parts to “the beginning of the rest of our lives, so pictures will be up in the next post (which will be out tomorrow inshaAllah)


Today was the day. The day I signed in that book where every couple before me, who had their nikaah in the masjid I was about to have mine in, signed. The day my heart would smile when my lips smile, when my tummy did flips and flops my heart would too, when my eyes would dance, with emotions that I can’t really describe, with the only one I can share with – Yusuf. My husband. My partner in this life and InShaAllah in the next too.

I allowed the hot water to flow down my back, as I rubbed the soap off. Obviously my tummy didn’t stop the millions of butterflies that it had. I got out the shower and went to my room. I put cream on my perfectly waxed legs and arms. Ammi peeped in and gave me a smile. For the time being I wore a T-shirt and tights.

Saby: Enjoy those last few minutes of dressing anyhow. Not like you won’t love dressing up for him, but this life will always be the best. *wink*
Ammi: Don’t teach her wrong things Saby!!
Suhail: Ammi… Its baby’s wedding chill out mumzy *side hugging her*

I went downstairs and I knew Sameera would have my vanilla double cream milkshake ready for me. For some odd reason, I couldn’t for the life of me comprehend why I wanted milkshake on my wedding/nikaah afternoon.

Zaid: Here you go sis (giving me the glass)
Me: JazakaAllah Zaidy. (And at that moment, the tears threatened to flow)
Zaid: Don’t even think about it (pointing fingers at me). Not now Shaakz!
Me: It’s……. It’s ov….
Zaid: Overwhelming, I know (he whispered and wiped away the single tear that fell from my right eye.)
Sameera: Shaaakz.. (She called out as she just entered the sitting room). Awwww noooo Shakirah! (Realising I was about to cry)
Sahal: Small sis (entering the room) Seeee what I brought you!!

And my eyes went wiiiiide with excitement!!
Suhail: Slow down a bit (laughing).
Me: He brought nougat and you tell me to slow down.
Saby: Here you go!!! (She opened it for me.)

Momo Isa and Naseeha (Fooi’s kids) jumped up
Naseeha: Pleeeease can we feed Shaakoo?
Me: Sure angel.
Momo Isa: Pweez can I go first?
Me: Naseeha you want to go second yeah? *wink*
And she nodded.
Momo Isa gave me the first, and after I was done, Naseeha fed me the next.
Fooi smiled so fondly as she watched her kids. Saby smiled too and I knew at that moment, it didn’t hurt her anymore. I looked up at her, right into her eyes and she gave me the answer I always wanted to hear, or see rather, in this instance. She was happy with what Allah decided for her.

Momo Isa: Shaakoo? Another one?
Maulana: Come boy, Shaakoo can’t have too much now. Come give Abba….

And the twins happily hopped to them. 3 years old but still angels that stole all our hearts. Even Yusuf’s. And I blushed as I thought about him.

Sahal: Ooh noo!! (Face palmed himself) She’s thinking bout Yusuf again! (Laughing)

Everyone looked at me and joined Sahal in laughing at me.

Me: *wide eyed* How did you know???
Suhail: Cheeks dear. Cheeks *wink* (laughing)

It was almost Asr time and time for dressing up. I hired no make-up artist because I didn’t want one. Sameera and Saby went blue in their faces until they got my scarf style right during their practice runs, because I didn’t want to call a scarf stylist either.

My dress had a deep ivory hue. I wanted something really simple, so i chose a princes style cut. I had mother of pearl beads on both my shoulders, fitted double layer net sleeves with a beads that made a thick border around my wrists. The dress flowed out with a little train, simple yet elegant. Paired it with a cream sandal with pearl detail and a stunning ivory clutch. Nopes no bouquet ;).

Besides. I’ve decided to have no wedding at all. When I mean no wedding, I literally even mean, no meal after or before my nikaah. I just wanted my nikaah and then the next day the walima. There is so much of blessings, peace and pure bliss in just that. I didn’t care how much my extended family would hate it. As long as I kept my nikaah simple, we were happy. Yusuf and I, that is. Our whole family included.

Saby insisted on at least just eye make-up and lip gloss, might I add, she used foundation and Fooi came and added blush. Initially I was upset, but when I looked in the mirror, I loved the result. Then Sameera came to help Saby with my scarf. While preggy Fooi sat and watched – occasionally adding her bits and bobs.

Ammi came just as I got done.
Ammi: MaShaAllah.. You look so pretty bachu
Me: JazakAllah Ammi.

Suhail came knocking on my room door.
Suhail: Wow,MashaAllah…. You don’t look bad at all (teasing me) By the way, Nikaah is done.
Me: So quick? Did anyone record it? (I realized I forgot to ask one of them to)
Suhail: Yeah… Zaid did. But I won’t keep you for so long.

I looked at him so confused.

Me: What you mean?
Suhail: You’ve got a visitor (smiling so wide, I thought he’d tear his face)
Me: Uuh…. Who?
Suhail: Come on everyone.(Ignoring me) Let us leave.

Everyone followed suit. Before I could even ask what I really wanted to, and register that I really was married, a pair of hazel eyes peeked in by the door. And I just stared at him. He entered and still we stared at each other. Drowning in each other’s happiness. He wore a white kurta, a perfectly fit waistcoat. A smashing watch and black Hugo Boss shoes. He wore a turban too and that…. That… Just made him look even more handsome.

Yusuf: Assalamu alaikum. You….. Wow… You look so beautiful (he whispered)
Me: Wasalaam…. (Blushed) you look … Good too.
Yusuf: that’s all I get (acting hurt).
Me: Yusuf (I laughed).

But when I looked at him, it was as if his World paused, looking at me. And when I looked at him, we weren’t in my room, we weren’t in West Yorkshire, we weren’t in the UK. We were alone, in some place, some beautiful place. Just us two. No one around.

Me: You look breathtakingly handsome Yusuf. How did you know I loved my husband to wear the turban too, on our wedding day?
Yusuf: Instinct Babes.

Silence. A Comfortable one.

He just called me babes. And my cheeks probably deepened their already deep red colour.

Yusuf : Oh yeah… I got you something.

He took the box he left on the dressing table and placed it next to me. He motioned for me to open it, and when I did, I held my breath.

He took the ring and I gave him my right hand. He smiled knowing why. My husband slipped the ring on my finger and then looked at me.

We stared into each others eyes. He didn’t need to come up with a cute lovey speech. His eyes said it all. Love forever, care for life, support all the time, compassion everyday, help every minute, duas every second, smile- every heartbeat. My husband in this world and the next InShaAllah. My confidant, my partner. My other half to make the pair Allah created us in. Garments to each other, just as Allah says we are.

His hand was so warm and soft, completely opposite to my cold hands. It was like those people, when you go visit them and they open the door with the warmest of smiles, like you cannot wait to sped time with them, it was like an invitation to his heart. His hands, larger than mines, as if he is protecting me. And again “garments to each other” came to my mind. I looked down at our hands, and a picture was made in my heart for life. Mines, in his. Like how it will be.

I looked up at him.

I smiled and he smiled. And we both let out the breath we had in. This is the love we should wait for. I swear on the being that has my life in his hand -Allah, love after nikaah can never be matched.

Yusuf: You like it sweets?
Me: Like it!!!??? I love it. (Admiring it) (Pause) Wait… I’ve got yours too….

I got up and got him his ring and watch.
He gave me his right hand I slipped the ring on.
Me: Can you wear this one, even tomorrow? (I gave a chuckle because I sounded like retard)
Yusuf laughed at me
Yusuf: Go ahead.
I took out his watch and put the one I bought on for him. It didn’t match colour wise. But I loved it on his hand anyway.

We were initially meant to meet each other later, when my Abu dropped me at my in-laws’ “makeshift” home, buut…well.. he came here. And I couldn’t be any happier.

Next thing I knew… Sahal and Suhail barged into the room.
Suhail: Out mate… I gave you a grace of 10 minutes. You freaking took 20 minutes bro. (Looking at his watch)
Yusuf: I … I…. I’m …. (He stuttered)
Sahal: (laughing). Well, what do we have here, a stuttering Yusuf.
Just then Zaid popped his head.
Zaid: Yusuf, you done yeah?
Yusuf: Gosh brothers. Was I that bad Sameera’s time?
Suhail: Actually, you didn’t have time to be protective. (Laughing)

I laughed at this whole scenario and then I felt a poke to my ribs.
Me: Goodness, I won’t have ribs left girl!
Sameera: You’re laughing at my brother. Watch out. (Narrowing her eyes at me)
Me: He is my husband (pulling my tongue).
Sameera: Aah Yusuf, we don’t have time for these people (trying too hard to act disappointed) let’s go.
Me: See you later InShaAllah (laughing, I shouted at them as they retreated).

Sameera was from the boy’s side. Well… I enjoyed it that way. I think we both did, as much as she wanted to come from my side, she thoroughly enjoyed it more being Yusuf’s sister than Zaid’s wife.

Sahal: Ready for the life Shaakz?
Me: Think so.
Sahal: Well go on, your friends are in the other room. Meet you outside.
Me: Okies (I whispered)

And I started my journey as a married woman.



I’m really deeply soo sorry for not posting for over a month now…. But I’ve been swamped with tons of work. Besides my best friend is getting married, and so I’m super busy.

I know I was being a pain of a writer… But next post will inshaAllah be up latest by thursday and then we will have a flow of posts like normal inshaAllah. The next post is 3\4 done, I promise.

Anyway…… Just a shout out to Mrs to be….. May Allah grant you allll the happiness you deserve.

And my other bestie…. Who will be frying samoosas (see what I did there) may Allah make it all go easy for you. Ameen Thumma Ameen.

Part 119. The first step to the beginning of the rest of our lives….

Asmaa POV

No matter how much Abu Bakr would deny it, it is time for him to settle down. Abu Bakr is the kinda guy that will never look at a girl twice. If you get me? And although Maariah has no family, well she does but the thing is, they threw her out the house as soon as they heard she became a Muslim, she will make the perfect spouse for him. She’s drop dead gorgeous, deeni inclined – I mean she is ready to learn new things all day, and her modesty is on another level.

I know my Nani will flip over hearing my proposal, and I’m not acting as a big woman fixing Abu Bakr and Maaria. It was my Ammi’s idea. Well, because ever since I met Maariah that day, I’ve been inviting her home more often than often. But Nani will flip, because she isn’t an Indian. And you can only imagine what will happen when I say we brining a white into the family.

Which is wrong!! Because if a person is a Muslim, and you are happy with their imaan, you should accept that person for marriage. The last thing you should be, is racist. Well that isn’t even the last thing, a Muslim should never be racist. That is the teaching of our habib, Muhammed (SAW). Yeah of course there should be compatibility between the two, but as you see, the culture that the new generation has, is more of a British culture, well to a certain extent. Like yes, an Indian still does Indiany things, but their is a hint of English/British in them. If you get me. So basically, compatibility is there, but on a British level. I have no idea if I made sense there, but get me.

So when my mum proposed this idea to my abu, of course he was keen to it. Then it was Abu Bakr we informed.

Abu Bakr: Asmaa! How many times should I tell you, we are just colleagues. She won’t accept!!
Me: that isn’t the point. The point here is, will YOU accept?

Abu Bakr was really scared. And I don’t blame him, because marriage is no joke. He decided on making istikhara first, then taking the next step. This mate took a week for istikhara and gave a whooping Yes!!

Nani (my dadi that is) on the other hand was adamant NO!!

Nani: No! There’s so many good haari poyris aapra wara! Jornee. Ahmed’s poyri. Jubi’s granddaughter. Then there’s my neighbour’s khala’s daughter in law’s sister.

Is Nani being for real?

But she was. Because Nani phoned for for her khala’s grandson’s daughter’s friend’s best friend.
And we had to literally phone back and say Nani jumped the gun. Well not in those words.

Nani: Over my dead body will he marry a dhori!! I don’t give my blessings at all.

My abu tried explaining it to her. But she wouldn’t ever agree. Until my ammi came with such a good example.
Ammi: Ma, don’t let history repeat itself. Your daughter got married to someone you people weren’t happy with for no reason, and see what that did. You didn’t see her after that. Don’t do this again to Abu Bakr.

Nani was deeeep in thought. I think she realised that she was about to make the same mistake twice. So reluctantly agreed although she hated the idea.

When the community heard. Let’s not even get to that. The stories got worse, from “ooh they work together”, to “She must be pregnant”. Sometimes people make me sick with their stupid rumours. I will never forget what my English teacher once said.
“A rumour has no parents”. And when it strikes you or your family, you will realize the truth. It sure as heck doesn’t have parents!

Anyway.. We made arrangements for “le samoosa run” ;). A bit of an odd way for Maariah, but she was nervous and a little excited for it too.

When I told her to think about Abu Bakr’s proposal, she had tears in her eyes.
Me: Why are you crying?
Maaria: I always prayed for someone pious. (Smiling through her tears)
Me: Duas never get turned away honey. Never!

It’s just three weeks away from my wedding, a week away from Faeeza’s. And as the days go, the excitement grows.

Saby and Ahmed

I’ve been married for so long. And each time someone asks me if I’m pregnant, I inwardly groan. I’ve been to my gynae, well to too many, and they all said I will never be able to have my own kids. Yess I moved on, but it hurts a lot, it hurts that I will never be able to have a human grow in me. I won’t have the tiny feet running around or squeals because their abba is spinning them. Or cute voices shouting ammi and abba.

But what I cannot move on with, is the damn community always asking when I’m having a kid. For Allah’s sake it’s time they learn to stop getting into everyone lives. If a girl isn’t married, it’s “when are you getting married” and then when she married it’s “when are you getting a baby”. Like are you for real!!!!

I’m not sure how long it will take me to fully get over this pain, but I’m sure I will be able to because with Ahmed on my side, we will conquer it all. He is my anchor, and I can’t thank Allah enough for blessing me with such a wonderful man. The fights we had in the past made me worry, that now I can’t get children, we will argue all over again. But shukr to Allah, that wasn’t the case. I’m so happy, yet I’m cracking too.

Ahmed: Hun, don’t you ever worry about what people ask you. Okay
Me: Okay (I whispered)
Ahmed: It is Allah’s will. We must just focus on moving on with it.

I gave him a tight hug as the tears fell down my cheeks. It wasn’t an easy thing, but it wasn’t something we couldn’t pass either.

Sameera and Zaid

It was the day we were leaving for Scotland again. It is never easy greeting your families. Yess I cried when I greeted my mum and dad and yusuf. And I cried again when I greeted my in laws. Which I don’t like calling in laws because they are a blessing from Allah. Ever so sweet and kind to me. I don’t feel like a daughter in law at all.

Shakirah still hasn’t given a clear answer. I would be lying if I said I’m not worried and thinking if she will say no. Because I was paranoid. I know how depressed she was when it all broke with Ebrahim.

Zaid took our bags to the car. We had an early morning flight and only Shakirah joined us to the airport. Mummy wasn’t feeling to well for an early morning trip to the airport in this freezing weather.

All the way, I watched Zaid. I saw how he looked at Shakirah, waiting for an answer. Or an indication. Or any clue. But she gave none. I think Zaid was more worried than me. But that is Zaid for you. Someone that will always make an effort to see others happy.

We reached the airport, we checked in and after a while it was the first boarding call.
Zaid: Abba, Shaakz we gotta go. Please come to scotland also.
Abba: sure.. InshaAllah we will. Keep well bachu.

Lol abba isn’t old enough to say bachu!

We greeted Shakirah. But she stopped us before we walked away.

Shakirah POV

I greeted Zaid and Sameera. I cried a little and then just before they turned to walk away. I stopped them
Me: Zaid, Sameera.
Zaid: Jee Shaakz
Me: Yes.