One will never understand the joys of pregnancy. Wait. One will never know how difficult pregnancy is. Well the start of it. One will never truly understand the true meaning of a “mum” until one is going through pregnancy itself. And then the joy part comes. I am in no way saying that pregnancy does not bring joy , it does, it definitely does. But this is the only time you realise how much kadr you have to make of your mummy and obviously your daddy.
Let me not get to the nitty gritty of how I found out I was getting a child. That is,, well not so exciting as the part after that. Think about it. Such a great sign of Allah is within you. A life growing in a life. A child growing in you. Literally it starts off as a dot and then as the days go buy…. It grows, still small, yet you can start to see a distinct figure like baby in you. And then, at 4 months you feel a flutter. I just can’t describe to you the feeling. It’s like the Baba is saying “hey mama, I’m here”, and the flutters are more frequent as the weeks go buy.
Yusuf: so just explain to me how the baby feels in you?
And it’s the first time I can’t really describe something to someone. A flutter doesn’t give it a thorough description.
Me: it’s …. It’s…. I really don’t know how to explain,
I take my finger and lightly tap his hand, giving him a tip of how it feels.
Yusuf: so is it like food in your stomach.
And I burst out laughing…
Me: loveeee,,, how on earth do you feel food in your tummy.
Yusuf: then how babes… Please explain…
Me: the next time it does, I’ll make you feel yeah love.
Yusuf: okay then, supper is on me.
Me: ooohkay… There’s the kitchen, knock yourself out.
Yusuf: remember I got burnt chicken once for dinner.
Me: shurrup…. Okay… Have some sympathy… I was miles away from my mummy and then I went riiight into the deep end.
Yusuf: but still… And
Me: cakes that came out like rusks… I’ll finish your sentence for you. Tsek
Yusuf: (laughing) aah come on love, you know I still love you innit
Me: yeah whatever… (Not looking at him)
The next minute I felt arms around my waist.
Yusuf: I can’t even put my hands around you anymore.
Me: well excuuuuuuse me Mr your child is growing in me so shh
Yusuf: say الحمد لله (chuckling)
Me: الحمد لله…. But you making me cross
Yusuf: I love this irritated look on your face. Makes you look so cute.
Me: are you done?(even more annoyed)
But he was quiet. And he was still.
Me: now what’s wrong? (Still annoyed)
I tried to turn around to see him, but his arms were strong around me, around my growing tummy. I felt it again. I realised. He. Just. Felt. The. Flutter.
And when I really did turn around I saw his eyes were glistening.
A tight – what – I – could – manage hug was what just completed the moment… With a whispered sentence from him
Yusuf: you make me the happiest man alive love.
Pregnancy brings the two of you closer in a different way. Obviously the things you used to do, you can’t do now because of the tummy, but the child, brings another sort of connection between the two of you. Like for instance, you’ll be worried more of your growing child and he as well, yet because it’s one thing you both worried or concerned about it brings you closer that way but also there’s a certain degree of a barrier between you too. I have no idea if I’m making sense. This is it actually. Now, your husband isn’t the number one priority… Your child is.
Anyway, so yes I’m here. In England. Surprising my family. I had the morning sickness but my mother in law took care of me during that time. I literally didn’t tell my side of the family and that includes Sameera. How my mother in law kept it away from her I really don’t know. Zaid and Sameera were the most surprised and I couldn’t wait to tell saby. I think my brothers were abiiiit secptical about me telling saby, but I know she’s got over that part. I know she has accepted what Allah wants for her
But when she really did come through I was in the bathroom so I didn’t end up opening the door for her. Anyway, I walked into the sitting room where everyone was, well having pan cakes and tea, and the next thing I knew saby jumping up to greet me.
Saby: oh my word!!! Shaakz is that a footy ball or a baby you swallowed?
Me: (laughing) it has to be a baby dear.
Saby: I know you daft thing and you couldn’t tell me sooner!!! This looks like you way past a month just btw!!
Me: erm sorry about that, but I’m just over 4!
Saby: freaking four months (counting on her fingers) oh gosh I can finnnaally be a Khala in five months إن شاء الله . I’m so elated you don’t understand.
Everyone in the room besides Ahmed were surprised. But they quickly hid it away not to disappoint her.
Suhail: zaid what will we do, another Shakirah on the way?
Me: you don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.
Zaid: fine then, another if so, Yusuf on the way, what will we do?
Sahal: bro the house will be brought down, imagine they going to be three now.
Ahmed: I’m Thinking about the dramatic actions of the kids.
Saby: yeahhhh oh my if it’s a girl yeah, she’ll be eating all day 😂
Samy: oh boy! (Hitting her forehead with her palm) if it’s a boy, I feel her sorry, something like Yusuf “my toast isn’t cut in half how do you expect me to eat it”
This time I burst out laughing, because seriously Yusuf does that!!
Me: samy why didn’t you tell me about that. The one day he was late, and then he came downstairs and literally he was like “I’m done here I’m seriously done” and I was like “what’s the matter” and then he says “my toaassttt” and I’m daft you know that yeah, so I was like “what about it?” And he furiously takes the knife and havles it. And then he says “you didn’t cut it in half” and I’m like say whaaat?? I promise you, he was so furious, I got a little scared. After that I didn’t forget to cut his toast in half.
Yusuf: don’t lie, you did plenty of times.
Me: but then I got used to your shoutings eventually you do it yourself now (laughing).
Samy: so now imagine a mini Yusuf…
Me: Allah save me from a finicky toast son.
And everyone was in stitches again
Allah plans everything for the benefit of us, don’t question it, live through it with patience, for patience is of virtue.