Epilogue part 4

Shakirah’s pov

One will never understand the joys of pregnancy. Wait. One will never know how difficult pregnancy is. Well the start of it. One will never truly understand the true meaning of a “mum” until one is going through pregnancy itself. And then the joy part comes. I am in no way saying that pregnancy does not bring joy , it does, it definitely does. But this is the only time you realise how much kadr you have to make of your mummy and obviously your daddy.

Let me not get to the nitty gritty of how I found out I was getting a child. That is,, well not so exciting as the part after that. Think about it. Such a great sign of Allah is within you. A life growing in a life. A child growing in you. Literally it starts off as a dot and then as the days go buy…. It grows, still small, yet you can start to see a distinct figure like baby in you. And then, at 4 months you feel a flutter. I just can’t describe to you the feeling. It’s like the Baba is saying “hey mama, I’m here”, and the flutters are more frequent as the weeks go buy.

Yusuf: so just explain to me how the baby feels in you?
And it’s the first time I can’t really describe something to someone. A flutter doesn’t give it a thorough description.
Me: it’s …. It’s…. I really don’t know how to explain,
I take my finger and lightly tap his hand, giving him a tip of how it feels.
Yusuf: so is it like food in your stomach.
And I burst out laughing…
Me: loveeee,,, how on earth do you feel food in your tummy.
Yusuf: then how babes… Please explain…
Me: the next time it does, I’ll make you feel yeah love.
Yusuf: okay then, supper is on me.
Me: ooohkay… There’s the kitchen, knock yourself out.
Yusuf: remember I got burnt chicken once for dinner.
Me: shurrup…. Okay… Have some sympathy… I was miles away from my mummy and then I went riiight into the deep end.
Yusuf: but still… And
Me: cakes that came out like rusks… I’ll finish your sentence for you. Tsek
Yusuf: (laughing) aah come on love, you know I still love you innit
Me: yeah whatever… (Not looking at him)

The next minute I felt arms around my waist.
Yusuf: I can’t even put my hands around you anymore.
Me: well excuuuuuuse me Mr your child is growing in me so shh
Yusuf: say الحمد لله (chuckling)
Me: الحمد لله…. But you making me cross
Yusuf: I love this irritated look on your face. Makes you look so cute.
Me: are you done?(even more annoyed)

But he was quiet. And he was still.
Me: now what’s wrong? (Still annoyed)
I tried to turn around to see him, but his arms were strong around me, around my growing tummy. I felt it again. I realised. He. Just. Felt. The. Flutter.
And when I really did turn around I saw his eyes were glistening.

A tight – what – I – could – manage hug was what just completed the moment… With a whispered sentence from him
Yusuf: you make me the happiest man alive love.

Pregnancy brings the two of you closer in a different way. Obviously the things you used to do, you can’t do now because of the tummy, but the child, brings another sort of connection between the two of you. Like for instance, you’ll be worried more of your growing child and he as well, yet because it’s one thing you both worried or concerned about it brings you closer that way but also there’s a certain degree of a barrier between you too. I have no idea if I’m making sense. This is it actually. Now, your husband isn’t the number one priority… Your child is.

Anyway, so yes I’m here. In England. Surprising my family. I had the morning sickness but my mother in law took care of me during that time. I literally didn’t tell my side of the family and that includes Sameera. How my mother in law kept it away from her I really don’t know. Zaid and Sameera were the most surprised and I couldn’t wait to tell saby. I think my brothers were abiiiit secptical about me telling saby, but I know she’s got over that part. I know she has accepted what Allah wants for her

But when she really did come through I was in the bathroom so I didn’t end up opening the door for her. Anyway, I walked into the sitting room where everyone was, well having pan cakes and tea, and the next thing I knew saby jumping up to greet me.

Saby: oh my word!!! Shaakz is that a footy ball or a baby you swallowed?
Me: (laughing) it has to be a baby dear.
Saby: I know you daft thing and you couldn’t tell me sooner!!! This looks like you way past a month just btw!!
Me: erm sorry about that, but I’m just over 4!
Saby: freaking four months (counting on her fingers) oh gosh I can finnnaally be a Khala in five months إن شاء الله . I’m so elated you don’t understand.

Everyone in the room besides Ahmed were surprised. But they quickly hid it away not to disappoint her.
Suhail: zaid what will we do, another Shakirah on the way?
Me: you don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.
Zaid: fine then, another if so, Yusuf on the way, what will we do?
Sahal: bro the house will be brought down, imagine they going to be three now.
Ahmed: I’m Thinking about the dramatic actions of the kids.
Saby: yeahhhh oh my if it’s a girl yeah, she’ll be eating all day 😂
Samy: oh boy! (Hitting her forehead with her palm) if it’s a boy, I feel her sorry, something like Yusuf “my toast isn’t cut in half how do you expect me to eat it”

This time I burst out laughing, because seriously Yusuf does that!!

Me: samy why didn’t you tell me about that. The one day he was late, and then he came downstairs and literally he was like “I’m done here I’m seriously done” and I was like “what’s the matter” and then he says “my toaassttt” and I’m daft you know that yeah, so I was like “what about it?” And he furiously takes the knife and havles it. And then he says “you didn’t cut it in half” and I’m like say whaaat?? I promise you, he was so furious, I got a little scared. After that I didn’t forget to cut his toast in half.

Yusuf: don’t lie, you did plenty of times.
Me: but then I got used to your shoutings eventually you do it yourself now (laughing).
Samy: so now imagine a mini Yusuf…
Me: Allah save me from a finicky toast son.

And everyone was in stitches again

Allah plans everything for the benefit of us, don’t question it, live through it with patience, for patience is of virtue.


Epilogue part 3 (samy and Zaid)

Zaid pov

Me: babes are you done?
Sameera: far from it.. this child of yours refuses to wear a dress. I just don’t understand where she got that ugly habit from. I mean which girl doesn’t want to wear a dress. She’s driving me up the wall. Yesterday she didn’t want to eat pies she insisted she wanted veggies.. thanks to Allah ammi didn’t mind at all to make for her. This child is finishing me. Just explain to her, she needs to wear a dress.

I wanted to laugh. I really really did. It was on the tip of my tongue. But I couldn’t, she would have brought the roof down. It’s so cute, (sometimes😉) when women go on a frenzy. No seriously, sometimes though. Other times… Well let’s not get there

Me: Sameera love, first breath
Sameera: I …
And I cut her because she would not just stop
Me: I know you breathing, but what I meant was, chill… Cooool it love. If baba doesn’t like a dress, she doesn’t. Leave her babes, put on something else for her.
Sameera: just so you know, “baba” (making air inverted commas) has a name you know. And okay fine, if she acts like a boy, she’s your child.
Me: our child. (Giving her a hug) now are we relaxed a little?
Sameera: how are men just so calm about things?
Me: why must we not be?
Sameera: okay okay, fine. I get it. Now can I get going…. Putting whatever that she wants to wear.
Me: now that’s my girl. (Wink)
Sameera: (sigh)… I love you zaid… Youre the best thing that ever happened to me. Through my weird days you still stayed.
Me: I love you too… Weird makes you cute sweetheart.(wink)
Let’s go now… Sahal and his Argentinian must be waiting.
Sameera: don’t say it like that (laughing)
Me: you laughing though.
Sameera: but still…. She’s lovely.
Me: I didn’t say she isn’t , did I (teasing her).

So, sahal married an Argentinian. Let me explain how. See, some aalims were going to Argentina to spread deen. Mr sahal joined, it was lovely at first, obviously because it’s something new, but then it gets to you as time goes, especially if youre single. But he didn’t complain. One brother, whose kid was sahals student asked him to see his sister for marriage. That’s the gist of it. The rest is history.

Samy’s pov

Hanah is her name. Her friendly nature complements her beautiful face, her pink cheeks makes her smile gorgeous and her big eyes completes the sweet look. She’s just really out of the world. She’s in full parda/niqaab/veil whatever that you want to call it. And because us girls always compliments her look the boys always teases sahal that he hit the jack pot.
But he did actually. She has the beauty in and out. She is so pious that it puts us to shame. She cooks yummy food (the Argentinian way) and she’s a female practitioner. Cool huh? Amazing to tell you the truth.

And yes they don’t stay with us (meaning zaid and I took the responsibility to stay with his parents and look after them- even though he is the fostered kid) but she always makes an effort to come by to check up on ammi and Abba. The “us staying with zaids parents” definitely raised an eyebrow around the community, but the amount his parents did for him, for me, can’t really be repaid, so the least we could do is stay with them. People thought “oh you know, how can he stay, he’s not the son innit” and all I could think was “what the heck, how can the Indian British community think like that, it’s 2018, are we going backwards??”. I mean so what which son looks after the parents. It’s high time that us Indians should get out of the judgey culture. We too clever in that yeah, but when it comes to us, our faults we don’t see any. I’m not talking about correcting someone islaamically, I’m talking about our rubbish culture sometimes. Sometimes because it’s not like our entire thinking system is horrendous, at times we are actually intelligent. But it’s those times when I could just ring people’s necks because they don’t see the light. It’s that easy, get away from being miss Indian cultural judge (if I can even put it that way).

We rang the bell to sahals home and guess what?

Me: boy, you kidding right?
Her: well nopes, which ever way you go 😆
Zaid: sooo you here…. With a big tummy, looks like you swallowed a footy ball…. And we didn’t know? I thought I was your favourite!!!!¿

Her: well you see… Technically I haven’t told anyone, literally I’ve been opening the door to let everyone in and that’s my way of telling them… Ammi didn’t know until today just btw!!!¡!? And yes you are my favourite but where’s my niece?

Yips. Shakirah was here. From Paris. Pregnant. Looking cute as always. Yusuf was forever checking over her.I didn’t think she would surprise us this much. We were so excited for her but were reluctant to know the reaction of saby. Shakirah isn’t even married for that long, no seriously she’s married only for 6 months and الحمد لله there’s going to be 3 in her squad…. But saby has been married for ages and she doesn’t have one yet. And I was edgy just thinking of it, but Shakirah was on another level of excitement to tell her sister

Afcourse we were in for another surprise.
A surprise that brought tears to our eyes but contentment to our hearts. A surprise of a reaction that made us believe even more that everything, every single thing, every atom, every morsel, every penny, every test, every bounty comes from Allah. And that’s part of deen that we need to attain.

I know everyone forgot the story but it took me this long to write posts can only imagine how I can’t give a thorough recap…. Please do skim read so you have a gist of everything

Epilogue part 2 (Ahmed and saby)

Looook who is back😀
إن شاء الله I am going to finish the story up
Tie up all loose ends
Please let me know what you want to know and if I have missed out things as I go along


It can be destructive. It can be rewarding. Destructive because it is of no benefit, no point no path. Rewarding because it becomes a journey. A journey that is unexplainable, because when it is rewarding, only the heart knows it, the mind can’t comprehend, words can’t describe it.
It is for Allah, Rasool (SAW), parents siblings and your spouse. But for each it is different yet the foundation is the same… You love, yes ‘it’ is LOVE, for the pleasure of Allah. And that is the rewarding journey… Yet if you love what isn’t of benefit to you, super stars, your boy/girlfriend then obviously it is of destruction.

And that is why Muhammed (SAW) said there is no love shared greater than love after nikaah. Because even though others scrutinise me, Ahmed by my side doesn’t even trigger negative thoughts. I mean there’s hikmah in the spouse Allah chooses for you… Ahmed is the strong headed person when it comes to deen issues. And I’m the weak one not as In I question, it sometimes takes a while to sink in. And that is life, if you don’t allow it to sink in, you allowing yourself to jump deeper into the pit. Where you won’t find “gold” (like how waseem and brothers say from a chance to change) but further problems, that will be hard to let go of. That will be more destructive than anything else. Because the deeper you Jump the bigger the problem is.

Life is a rollercoaster. We were at the lowest once, and even though that was supposed to be the shortest, it felt the longest, and when we were at the top, I was too busy worried about the other bigger things in life, when the smaller things mattered the most. And because of that we learned that to make life matter in a good way, we have to make it, we have to compromise, we have to give more than get, we have to steer ourselves, we are our own helpers, with Allah by our side we can conquer innit.

Shakirah living far away was the biggest blow to me. I was used to her random afternoon visits, or pick ups to get tissue paper from the shopping centres, or random times she used to come home complaining of work. She was, still is randomness at its best.

Although she was having it difficult at first to settle in, into her new life, I knew she was living the life. Yusuf, was the best thing that happened to her. Nobody knew, that our brother’s best friend would be a brother one day. And that change was good for her. A change in atmosphere, life, roles, ways, did her good. She was back, the old Shakirah, even after one more blow, that no one saw coming.

For Me, now that Ahmed was financially stable, الحمد لله, there’s always reason for me to smile, or go an extra mile for him. Today was his one hifdh student’s jalsa. And for him to be a little in a celebratory mood, after the jalsa because he was too busy worried for the jalsa itself to go without any hiccups, I went all out the informal way. Literally. Candle lit dinner, serving chicken burgers and chips, ice tea, and cone ice cream. It’s his favourite. Don’t ask how, because I enjoy it as well. Imagine right,,, candles, fancy set up, but

Burgers,ice tea,
And chips
Cone ice cream.

And love and laughter, and smiles and heart to heart conversation, and maybe it’s trivial to some, but making your spouse happy is rewarding by Allah. It’s amazing how every faculty in life is covered in islaam. I mean that’s why islaam is known as a way of life.

It all just clicks. Perfectly into place. Like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Thousand pieces, that some looks the same, yet it fits in its specific place, but when it’s done, you see how it completes the picture.

Or like a mosaic, every piece is unique, yet put together makes a beautiful piece, every different texture, for different feelings and times, some roughly sad, some smoothly happy, some jaggered because of the rushed time, some with both, because of mixed emotions some high some low, but altogether, it’s beautiful. If one were to be missing, it’s incomplete.

Ahmed: love, I’m home, السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

That’s one thing about him, his greetings is after a phrase. Never first, which doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s Ahmed for you.
I mean, how difficult can salaams first be?

Me: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته Hun… (Walking to the door) how was your day?
Ahmed: dammit the boys did such an excellent job..
Me: dammit!! Seriously dammit?
Ahmed: (laughing) fine, fine you know what I meant….
Me: no I don’t Mr Ahmed
Ahmed: okay okay Apa youre right…. mashaAllah the boys did a fantastic job (wink)
Me:(hugging him) that’s better… Well if you wanna freshen up, do so… Dinner is waiting (giving him my million dollar wink)
Ahmed : ooooh what you have up your sleeve.
Me: nothing too serious… Come on… I’m waiting

You know, the thing about marriage is that sometimes words can’t really describe it. The excitement you have, the emotions that run through you, the smiles that stops your world at that second…. It just… Makes you want to sit and wonder when did I get so lucky.

Our dinner was really great, I mean super awesome, I’ve never had such fun over a burger. And cone ice cream. But with candles that lit the room perfectly making it intimate, romantic. We whispered to each other at times adding to the calm summer night. And when we cleared up after we ate, we done it in silence, we just drowned ourselves in each others company, each others love and happiness.

That’s when I realised the true meaning of “after every hardship comes ease”
At the beginning I thought I’d never survive, but today, I got shown other wise.

about this blog….

I’m heeerrrrreee guys, I’m here

Assalamualaikum to one and all.

Right so, errm, yes you alllll have a very good reason to hate me. I’ve become such a terrible “author” , and I’m not even here to give you guys excuses, because let’s face it, no one is gonna believe me right?

No this blog hasn’t ended
No this blog hasn’t stopped. (That is just plain evil if I just stop it)

*ended and stopped is two different things trust me*

Yes it will continue inshaAllah, inshaAllah, inshaAllah as soon as i find the time to write!

To be honest, I have the next part, promise I do, but its like three quarterly done. And I’m not liking what I’m writing, so I need to get into the groove of it. InshaAllah soon though I will post it.

Annnyway… I promise, inshaAllah I will be posting. It won’t be regular (as usual, lol say it), but I will definitely post, InshaAllah. As soon as I find TIME. Not find, HAVE time. I’m swamped with work currently, and if I have time to read my 55 million unread emails, then it will be a miracle.

Until next post inshaAllah

Epilogue part one.

Assalamualaikum. Hope everyone is in good health, high Imaan, and having good moments.

Yeaahhhh guys!!!!! We are here!!! Can you believe?

So.. A little of a recap… Everyone got married in the last few episodes. Literally… Shaakz to Yusuf, Sameera to Zaid, Faeeza to Zaakir, Asmaa to Ziyaad and Maariah to Abu Bakr.

As the title suggests… It’s the epilogue about this story…. Last season guys. *tear* *tear*
Buuut its gonna be a long season inshaAllah


Everything went wrong. Literally everything.

From my chicken on the stove to the cakes in the oven. I had no idea what was the cause of it, it could be the endless messages Yusuf and I sent each other, or the million phone calls I had to answer. Anyway. All of which caused me having a daymare. I was on the verge of tears. No really. Last night, my cakes came out as rusks, today my chicken burned. Oh Ya Allah!!

Marriage!!! Everyone says it is awesome. It really is. I won’t lie! But let it come to this point, and tears is all you’d wanna shed. I felt like a total failure. And ladies, it is at this times when you think of your mums words the most. Innit?

My phone rang, and it was Saby. She was in tears. Sometimes I wonder… Will she ever truly be over the fact that she can’t get kids. And sometimes, I Feel Ahmed so sorry. He tries his BEST to make her feel better. But the guilt consumes her.

Saby: I told him to get a second wife.

And I stood like a statue!! DID SHE JUST SAY??????

Saby: I can’t see him suffer Shaakz!
Me: for Allah’s sake!! He isn’t suffering. What part of “I don’t mind at all saby” did you not understand?
Saby: you have no idea what’s the true sense of marriage is?
Me: oh don’t start saby! I haven’t been the ideal wife ever since I became one. My cooking sucks, I doubt I’m a good daughter in law, so don’t even. You!!!! Just look at things too much. Saby: why are you crying?

And I felt fresh tears roll down my cheeks.
Me: saby… I’m a terrible wife that’s why…. I… I can’t even

Before I could continue, I felt the phone move away from my ear, and out my hand.

Him: Saby, she’ll call you back later inshaAllah.

Him: wa alaikumusalaam.

He looked at me. Right into my eyes, straight to my heart.

Him: what’s wrong sweets? (He asked gently)
Me: (crying) everything…. Yusuf, everything.
Yusuf: breath! I love you Shaakz. All of you. I promise. Burned chicken or not. I’ll always love you.
Me: I’m not an ideal wife. I.. I can’t even do things properly for you.
Yusuf: sweets. Babes… You’re my wife. Not my slave.

He gave me a kiss on my forehead, wiped my tears away. He cupped my face
Yusuf: (in a whisper) you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

And he took me in a hug.

Seconds later, the door bell rang. It was delivery of Pizza. I looked at him confused.
Yusuf: Saby text me to buy. *wink* come on. Let’s indulge.

He got up to get a glass and cooldrink. His Parker pen was next to the pizza box. I decided to write a message, it was cliché, but I truly meant it.

****you have a pizza my heart****

He sat down, next to me and saw it. His smile grew, to a point I thought I’d have to help him close that smile. It was these times, no matter what a failure I am, that I realize I’m so in love. And every time I think of how much I love him, I ask…

Me: Yusuf, how much do you love me?

And every single time, every single time he gives me the sweetest reply.

Yusuf: since the day I saw saw you, it just grows.

And then there’s a comfortable silence. Staring at each other.. Drowning in each others comfort, solace, love.

We ate supper and then retired to bed.

Days like today have frequented these days. Me breaking down due to my lack of wifey skills. Yusuf coming to my rescue. Its been 5 months that we married, and I sometimes wonder why didn’t we earlier. He does small (and big ones) actions that catches not just my attention, but my heart. And my heart is on the edge of the cliff, and I’m about to fall, my heart is about to burst. They talk about #relationshipGoals, #WifeyGoals, #HusbandGoals, #bae, but they don’t know what it is like. They don’t know that it is more than a cute picture that was taken once. They don’t know, that it is more than a sunset stroll down the beach, or “putting a lock on the bridge in Paris”, or sky diving in Dubai and looking at the bottom from the top- with your loved one next to you, they don’t know that all of those… aren’t actually goals. Goals are – slipping a cute note into his lunch, phoning her from work just to say hello, helping out in the kitchen, smearing mud on each others faces while gardening- that’s goals. Not a picture that “looks” cute. Cuteness is after. And that my friends… Is when you see true goals.

It’s like the racing between Hazrat Muhammed (SAW) and Hazrat Ayesha (RA), or when Hazrat Khadeeja (RA) was the one right by Muhammed (SAW)’s side at the start of his prophethood. Or when Hazrat Alli(RA) went out for a job when there was nothing at home for his kids and Hazrat Faatima (RA) or like Hazrat Uthmaan (RA) being such a wonderful man that he earned the title “Thun Nurain” or like Hazrat Umar (RA) , the man even the shaytaan used to run in the opposite direction, sat silently when his wife shouted because he said “one must be fire, the other ice”. These are goals. These are the ones worth striving for.

This was just 5 months of my marriage. And I cannot wait to explore a lifetime with Yusuf.

The beginning of the rest of our lives – walima.

Naturally the walima is the very next day… So let’s pretend we read the wedding yesterday only :p



No words, no expression , no fancy, French romantic quote can ever do justice to the feeling you have when you wake up on your walima day. The feeling of pure ecstasy, bliss and happiness that surrounds you and him, your heart and his, is beyond explanation. The chirpy birds, the morning scent, the blowing UK wind, the traffic lights, the street lights, the hotel lights, the walkways, the cabs, just look different. Awesomely different. It is as if you’ve completely closed one chapter of your life and began a new one. It is like a revolution of sorts.

A good revolution. A revolution that completes half your Imaan (faith). A revolution that you spend with your other half. Because it is a revolution you experience in pairs. Perfect for each other, created for each other, destined millions of years ago by Allah- our creator.

Yusuf was already awake when my eyes opened. I looked around the room and saw the curtains were open too. He realised my confused look.
Yusuf: I know we spoke for hours sweets, I didn’t know you were THAT tired that even opened curtains wouldn’t wake you up. (Smiling in amusement)
Me: I… (Yawn) am very tired. You have absolutely no idea what it is to walk in heels.
Yusuf: (laughing). Heels?? Yeah right. You spoke all night.
Me: I’m too tired to have our first argument (closing my eyes)
Yusuf: Alright.. That’s enough sleep for one night. Come on.. We’ve got breakfast to eat.
Me: (pulling the covers over my head) just one more sleep.

The next minute I felt the entire blanket off me.
Yusuf: Na uh… As much as I love you, I can’t let you sleep more. Come on…. Please. (Asking too cutely for words)
Me: Okay okay. Fine, I’m getting up. Although you can quit holding the blanket now.
Yusuf: Nice try pumpkin. Come on.
Me: (shock) Pumpkin!!!! Am I fat??!
Yusuf: (laughing) Did I say you were? (laughing)
Me: You said pumpkin. What does that mean.?
Besides, it is so unromantic!

Yusuf carried on laughing, dropped the blanket, came to my side, gave me a kiss on my forehead and then said
Yusuf: Pumpkin because I love you. Not because you’re fat! (Stretching out a hand for me to take) Now come on.

I took his hand and finally got up. I went to the bathroom and before I could close the door he said
Yusuf: Besides (mocking me) no other guy would have ever called you pumpkin, so in a way, I’m romantic *wink*

I laughed and closed the door behind me; and had a good shower. When I went back to the room, there was a note next to my Polo vanity bag.

*call me when you done

Why wasn’t he here, Allah alone knows. I got done, I won’t say quickly, because we were half an hour late for the walima reception, but quickly enough knowing how late I woke up. Yips we had to skip breakfast, we, however managed to get a cup of coffee to keep us going.

I wore a gold indian outfit, beaded from the top – lightly and then almost full at the bottom, making a gorgeous border with the darker shade of gold material. Paired with a yellow gold set, a chain that adorned my neck and a bracelet that finished the look on my mendhi – hand. Yusuf….. Yusuf wore a white kurta, with a taupe colour jacket and matching colour shoes.

I rang him and he came to the room almost immediately……
Me: Waait.. Don’t say you were on the other side of the door!!
Yusuf: Guilty.
Me: You could have just stayed!
Yusuf: Nopes. I wanted to see how you looked after you’re dressed. Pretty by the way.
Me: That’s all I get (imitating him)

Unfortunately for me, he didn’t compliment me further

Yusuf: That’s all you get sweets (teasing me)
Me: You don’t look fine at all!! I don’t know what I fancied.
Yusuf: Oohh so you diiid fancy me. *wink*
Me: I didn’t say that.
Yusuf: You just did (chuckle). Since when, love?
Me: Oh so now I’m “love”? *raised eyebrow*
Yusuf: You were always love.
Me: Goood try Mister Smarty Pants. But you ain’t getting an answer from me. *wink*

Before he could reply, his and my phone rang. It was Sameera at my end and Zaid at his. But they were together, so we both, heard them both. Get me?

Zaid & Sameera: Half an hour late!!
Me: What? Can’t be!
Zaid: Can’t be!! Can’t be!!! Have you seen the time dear??

And when I did! My eyes nearly popped out.

Yusuf: Oh my word babes!! Let’s go!!!

Was I embarrassed or embarrassed???!!

The entire hall was seated. Starters were on the table. And here you see me! The bride. Making an entrance. Literally. I had a bad habit of being late, but I was never over time. I just used to make the nick of the time. And here…. Half an hour late. Ladies turned to look at me, with scrutiny. Gosh! Cousins and friends laughed at me. I on the other hand, had to keep a straight, yet smiley face and walk up to them. My cousins in law that is.

After a mouth-watering lunch, which was steak with mushroom sauce; saucy vegetables and masala chicken, my friends decided to grace me with their presence.

Faeeza: Well well, if it isn’t a late bride, what do we have?
Covering my face.
Me: I promise, you have no idea what it is like, to end off late, drive to his family’s house. Sit and have loooong chit chat, thinking we have allll night. ONLY to know, they were staying at a hotel. So we had to go to the hotel.
Asmaa: (laughing) Faeeza didn’t say anything besides saying you were late. (Chuckle) but ooohhkay. We get why you were late.

How many of us, brides, know who we meet? I mean there’s so many aunts, chachis, fufis, khalas cousins (like how they say, mare kakibhen, fooi-bhen) mwan. It confuses my brain. All I know. I’m meeting chachi with a pink dress, khala with a blue- a little on the plumpy side might I add. Then I’m meeting an old neighbour – the fancy ladies. Some cousins with a cute baby, and then some cousins who aren’t married. Do you know what’s even worse. Seeing that one school “buddy” and knowing she is his cousin!! Mwan did she not tell them about my schooling life? I was all day in the headmaster’s office!!

But all in all… I noticed my family is just as them. We kinda complemented one another. It was like my family- the glove, and his- the hand, that came together finally.

When you not so worried of people looking at you, do you fully realize the things around you. I saw the hall was simple, very simple. (I liked it). I saw that there were bainmaries on each table, so no fancy platters. On the mens’ side I heard there was a dastarkhan, and when I turned my head to the right, surprisingly, actually not surprisingly, in awe, I saw some young girls, sitting on the floor as well. With evening dresses and all. I got up, and went to join them. I bet they were just freshly out of school, so they kept quiet. Lol!

Me: Oh come on, I don’t bite. What’s your peoples names? (Way to go Shakirah #psht)
And that’s how, minutes later, we were engrossed in conversation. Until…..

Cousin from school: Heyyy, weren’t you… Like always at headmasters office.
Me: (covering my face) You weren’t suppposed to sayy that (laughing)
Sameera: You were??? How did I not know this?
Ayesha: Come on, she was the one that pressed the fire alarm!!
Sameera: No way!!
Me: Ayesha!
Ayesha: Yes way Sameera, and that shaving cream situation, was her, and the snow balls, and the… (She tried to carry on)
Me: (cutting her off) Okay okay!! Enough.

By then my cousins in law were laughing away, some couldn’t believe, it was because of me – school stopped for an hour and a half!!

One cousin: (laughing) You seem so innocent. Are you sure you did it?
Me : I… (Before I could reply)
Sameera: Maseeha, you have nooo idea.
Ayesha: Poor Yusuf!
Me: Ay.. What poor Yusuf???
Saudah: You’ll drive him up the wall.
Me: Like you drive Taahir?
Khadeeja: True shaakz she does.
Me: In your face Saudah. (Pulling tongue at her)
Khadeeja: In a car duh!!

And I was busted! Just like that, on my walima, I had people troubling me.

Me: You know what, I’m going to sit with my mummy.

They all burst out in a fit of laughter.

Saudah: What are you? 5?
Me: No crazy, 25!

I didn’t spend a second any more. Fooi had my clutch because… Well Moe Isa took it away from me.
Fooi: Shakirah, really!! If you do not answer your phone, I’ll be throwing your clutch to someone else. ( A little irritated)
Me: Sorry Fooi. Here let me take it away.

I took my phone, only to see 195 whatsapp messages. 50 of which were from Yusuf. 12 miss calls – all were Yusuf’s. Can he?

So as I was about to put it away, it rang again.
Yusuf: Wa alaikumusalaam…. Can we leave already?

And I laughed. I knew Yusuf was nuts. Not this nuts though.

Me: (laughing) Now? As in now?
Yusuf: Yeah now.
Me: Yusuf… you do know what people will say.
Yusuf: Well it’s about time we break the norm “rules”. Come on. I’m waiting outside.
Me: You are so crazy!!! In another 15 minutes please? (I asked sweetly)
Yusuf: Nopes… Now.. Quietly though.
Me: Eerrr.. How so if…
Yusuf: (cutting me off). It’s freezing out here you know. Come on!

That is how I found myself… Holding onto my seats TIGHT. I’ve sat in fast cars before. Yips, like racing FAST. Allah alone knows what Yusuf thinks is fast. Because I was so afraid. I read my kalimahs and all.

Me: (reading Durood Shareef)
Yusuf: (laughing). Will you chill
Me: CHILL. CHILL. When you driving?? Nopes. From now I will be driving us around. You’re just soo crazy.
Yusuf: No ways…. If we need to go to a place an hour away.. We’ll have to leave the day before. So… I’ll drive.
Me: You wish!! (still holding the seat). YUSUF! Watch!!

Yusuf Slammed the brakes.

Yusuf: You gave me a heart attack!!
Me: babes!!! The truck was infront of you!!
Yusuf: Love it’s so far from us! Please relax.
Me: Fine! (closing my eyes).

And then I felt him tug my hand… I turned to look at him. He was so engrossed on the road that it would seem as if he isn’t tugging my hand consciously. I placed my hand in his palms… And I sighed. No matter how crazy his driving is, I felt a little at ease.
Yusuf:(still looking straight ahead, whispering) That’s all you had to do sweets…. To just trust me.

I smiled. This was why… Love only appears before marriage in the dictionary. Love, in life, the one where your heart goes “hmmm”, only happens after Nikaah.

Me:(whispered) I trust you Yusuf.
Yusuf: (turned to look at me) Yeah?(He questioned)
Me: Yeah.
Yusuf: Then say I always loved you.
Me: I alway…

I realised what he was doing.

Me: Ayyy!!! I didn’t always. #psht.
Yusuf: Oh yeah, then why were you the only one that saw my faint dimples?
Me: (laughing) That was years ago.
Yusuf: Yeah… 4 years, 3 months and 5 days.

I looked at him. No scratch that, I gaped! Shocked!!

Me: What did you say?
Yusuf: Don’t feel yourself (laughing)… I just said any random numbers.
Me: I hate you (trying to take my hands away)
Yusuf: You’re a fantastic pharmacist, but a terrible liar.
Me: And youu… Are terrible at reading people!!
Yusuf: No… I’m good actually. For instance, when I call you sweets, you blush, aaaand you get butterflies and what?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me.
Yusuf: You look down!


Me: Wa… Waaaittt. How did you?
Yusuf: because… I read you.


Do you know what this means????
It meaaaannnss Epilogue up next! BUT

There’s always a “BUT”
I have no idea how long my epilogue will be, because I can stretch it upto 10 parts maybe 15. There’s so much I want my characters to go through still… So epilogue won’t be two or 3 posts… It will be like a full season again inshaAllah.


Thanks to Sameeratunz for helping me with the colour choosing and editing. And thanks to Loony toones tooo!!!!


The beginning of the rest of our lives (part two)

I left the room and walked to the room next door. Momo Isa and Naseeha came to me, out of breath because they ran.
Me: What’s up buddies?
Naseeha: Your fwends is there (pointing to the room).
Me: JazakAllah (kissing her cheeks).

Greeting my friends as a married woman gave me the butterflies. Even though they were already married, and knew what married life was like, I couldn’t contain my tears. They just flowed freely. I greeted Faheema, then I greeted Nabeelah. Then it was Faeeza, and I automatically transferred my mind to her wedding.



On the 19 of March, Faeeza wedded Zaakir. She wanted an amazing wedding. And she did have one. Not too much, although it was elaborate. Fancy, yet simple in its own way. Black with red abstract patterned table cloths; similar coloured napkins; and just a single red rose in a vase. Every second table had a black rose. It looked breath-taking. It spoke volumes. It was just a “Faeeza kinda” wedding. She wore a beautiful gown, and her face shone with happiness. Not only her face, but Zaakir’s too.

Faeeza: I can’t believe it’s actually happening Shaakz. I really thought this would never happen. This me and Zaakir thing.

And that’s when I realized she never was fully over the man. But Zaakir took an amazing turn. As youngish-old as he was, he started hifdh. Brilliant mind Allah blessed him with, before his wedding he finished 10 paras. In 6 months, that is. His beard was fuller than before, and he even put his name down, as a fill in Imaam in the Masjid. You know when the Imaam of the masjid can’t make it, due to unforeseen circumstances.

Faeeza: Shaakz, Shaakz, (nudging me, and taking my hands in hers)
Me: Yeah….?
Faeeza: It’s time for me to go.
She looked so nervous. I laughed.
Me: You practically know the guy! What’s with the “shy bride” now?
Faeeza: We’re married now. It’s different.
Me: (chuckle) Okies Faeeza.. Let’s get you ready dear.
Asmaa: Faeeza face it. You…. Just can’t wait to go with him. Just say it. We understand. (She teased)
Faeeza: Meaners!!

*end of flashbacks*
Faeeza: Ima miss you. No two weeks meetings. Now its like twice a year. Can’t Yusuf bring you here, instead of Paris.
Me: (laughing through my tears) Tomorrow is still the walima dear.
Asmaa: Come on.(Not giving Faeeza a chance) My turn.

And again I was transported to her wedding.


Asmaa didn’t want a wedding do. It was chaotic yet awesome. She didn’t invite the dunya. It was my family, Ziyaad’s family didn’t bother, so the rest of the guests were hers.
It felt soo goooood to come from the boy’s side although it was my best friend’s wedding.
Ziyaad: Shaakz… What do you think?
(Showing me how he looks).
Zaid: Ziyaad!!!! You’re kidding me?
Ziyaad: What, is something wrong? (Looking at himself) Am I that bad?
And Zaid and I broke into a fit of laughter.
Me: (laughing) Nooo he meant are you kidding him in asking if you’re looking good.
Ziyaad: This aint funny.

And the next thing we knew, he was crying.

Just at that moment, Ammi entered. And when she saw Ziyaad crying I knew we had it bad.
Ammi: ZAID and SHAKIRAH!!!!! Can you trouble him on his wedding day?! What is wrong with you. I brought you people up differently. Huh? Where’s your brain?

And she went to hug Ziyaad.

Zaid and I were speechless. We felt terrible.

Ziyaad was a mess and I have no idea how long he cried for, but it felt like decades. Eventually he stopped and I got him a glass of water.

He cried…… He cried for his mum…. And at that moment the world stopped. This was his big day, the day he tied the knot, the day his soul united with Asmaa’s. But……… B… But his mum, beloved mum wasn’t here to witness it. Neither was his extended family. But that was because they were ignorant souls. He had it bad, and I think the little teasing we gave him, tugged the wrong side of his heart.

Everthing went off well for him. And her. Asmaa looked dashing in her light pink dress she sewed and Ziyaad looked “super handsome” – my Ammi’s words. Ziyaad took her home though, from her Dad’s. Because face it, they both couldn’t wait to start playing husband and wife. The walima…. Was as simple as just paper plates, white table clothes, no decor at all, no entrance table, white napkins (I forced the issue to get the flowered ones) and no main table for Asmaa. Simple to the core!! But it was the most beautiful walima I ever attended. While we celebrated here, somewhere in Africa, an orphange celebrated too. And that.. That just filled everything with Allah’s blessings.

*end of flashback*

I went to the living room to spend some time with my family before my Abba dropped me at my in-laws. Mingled with some, got teased by Aunties. Cried a little when my cousins thought about the far distance between Paris and England. But all the better for them to come for holidays, innit ;).

You know when everything is separate, and you get the extra cute couple that will meet “halfway” in the passage, I don’t know what they do, check on each other, or decide when to leave, or I don’t know, maybe say “love yous” whatever the heck it might be, it is still so cute. So anyway .. There I saw Zoheb and Aara. And my smile widened.

Me: Zoooooheb !! Aara babes.

Aara seemed startled and sort of caught off-guard and Zoheb flashed me his 1000 watt dimpled smile

Zoheb: Thought I’d never come huh?
Me: Something like that. *wink* …. What are you two doing, in the middle of the passage? (I asked teasingly)
Aara: (a blush creeping up on her face) We errrrrrr…. (Looking at zoheb) we errrrrrr
Me: I get it, I get it. (Laughing). What did you say, love you too babes or whatever you call him?
Aara: (with her hands covering her face) You will see soon Shakoo… How’s the nerves?
Me: Well… Given the fact that I met him an hour ago, I’m calm, but I’m worried that I’m this (pointing to myself) calm.
Zoheb: (laughing) I think you’re just on a high…calm has nothing to do with it
Zoheb: if it makes you feel any better… Lol. His face is just as flushed as yours
Me: (covering my face with my hands and then looking up ) What to do, I have that effect on people 😉
Aara: That you dooo 😉
Me: You guys were leaving?
Aara: No ways they haven’t served dessert yet 😝
Me: Then come along!! (Laughing) Sorry but we don’t have SA’s fav’s. We have the UK norms.
Zoheb: Dessert is dessert isn’t Apple pie? (grinning at Aara)

We took the nearest empty room. The house was so full, so anywhere alone for a breather was enough.
I sat neatly (if I could say that) and not long after Zoheb and Aara sat next to each other, Zaid, Sahal, Suhail, Saby and Ahmed joined as well. Zaid had that look, the “I’m missing Sameera” look. Suhail and Ahmed teased him and he just shook his head. He knew they wouldn’t understand. While they spoke among each other, I zoned out and observed.

The place was my little rainbow. There was my siblings, and cousins, (Aaminah and Ayesha, Saudah , Khadeeja and Talha came too later as I observed). Sahal and Suhail now had a “Tajweed” accent, Zaid had a scottish tinge to his words, Aara’s South African accent, Zoheb’s mixture of New Zealand and SA accent – he had a little of the Uk lingo too, Saby’s and Ahmed’s normal Uk accent. I looked and sighed.

All dressed immaculately, smiles with perfectly painted lips, well suited guys, maulana worthy look in crisp white kurtas and beautiful mendhi patterned hands, tucked away in their loves’ hands. The single guys were grossed out (dramatic for nothing) and teased the married ones. The single girls “awwwed” at the sweet gesture, while you had me, I smiled and just loved the atmosphere. I mean, it’s not always you get all your cousins under one roof innit. I saw Zoheb give a peck to Aara, I saw Zaid look at his phone for a message from Sameera, Ahmed and Saby shared an eye moment, Saudah and Talha high fived each other, I thought about Yusuf and I. There was soft whispers between Saby, Sahal and Suhail, I didn’t understand and get, because my phone caught my attention….

I have this habit, where I don’t delete chats. So them chats from years ago will pop up.

When I looked up, I understood what was the whispers for, and I saw Sameera cover Zaid’s eyes, giving him a surprise, she knew he missed her, and she missed him too. She came and joined my little rainbow……..

my phone beeped. A text.

*Unknown: are you coming….. orrr should I come pick you up. 😉 😉 *

I scrolled up at the long ago messages, and I didn’t believe, unknown was the one we pranked Saby’s wedding time.
Unknown is who I love. Unknown was someone I knew all my life. Unknown was and is my other half. Unknown…….

Unknown was Yusuf.

P. S
JazakaAllah to Life love destiny, Shaaz for the little piece we wrote together, then also JazakaAllah to Sameeratunz for the help in editing, and then Also jazakaAllah to my bestieeee! Ayesha for the pictures.